petescully - @ 20six.co.uk

"U! S! A!"

One of the other phenomena of the World Cup is the dodgy goalie. I'm just watching Portugal leading 2-0 against Iran and I see that though Portugal have gotten rid of that dodgy goalie they had before (still better than David James, though, if memory serves), there is still a tendency for World Cup goalies to come too far out a corners, and punch the ball away when they could have easily grabbed it. Maybe I'm just generalising, and basing this upon one or two incidents, but then a goalkeeper's career, no matter how illustrious, is judged by such mistakes. Dave Beasant? Tim Flowers! Rest in Peace.
The United States, well they have Kasey Keller. Now I know that for a while he was holding his own as Spurs no.1, keeping all the other supposedly better keepers out of the team, and I know that he is now enjoying himself in the Bundesliga, but the Americans all know that they were a far better outfit with Brad Friedel between the sticks. Man United sub Tim Howard can't stab the Colman's, either; Friedel, on the other hand, is a much larger presence. You don't fuck with him. The US play Italy today, and I tell thee, without Brad they are buggered.
I'll still wear my US shirt though. I bloody bought the thing to show my support for my new home and they repay me by being utterly dreadful. I know we are only one game in, but there are lots of teams who had been much more likely to cause an upset (Ivory Coast, Paraguay) who are already checking in their baggage and wandering around Duty Free. I don't sound like I'm showing much support, but then why should I, really? I'm the only one. You wouldn't know there was a World Cup going on, nobody cares here at all. So much for their patriotism. It's never off the Mexican channels, but the US ones don't want to know. It's a game for fur'ners, after all. The other day was Flag Day here - I barely noticed, having just come back from red-cross crazy England. I bet it would be different if the US were in an easy group, if the US were actually scoring goals and winning games, and had a good chance of actually winning the trophy (it's not really a 'cup', is it).
Now I've said this, they'll go and beat bloody Italy, and there'll be a big party at the White House. Make a sentence from the following words: sing, only, winning, you're, when, you.

17.6.06 15:58

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in the river city

pencil, pen; down by the river, sacramento

19.6.06 06:46

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river city number two

pen; escaping the roasting gold-rush heat down in old sacramento, enjoying a cold local hefe-weizen at fanny ann's

19.6.06 06:52

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Week Thirty-Eight: Time to learn Spanish

Watching the World Cup on the Mexican channels has been a real education this past week. I have not once turned over to the English-language channels, and am therefore utterly ignorant of anything that does not involve the World Cup or overly made-up and underly dressed-up women dancing around to loud cheering and leering by moustachioed hosts on the pretence that this has something to do with sport. I don't miss the American news or the endless repeats, and I'm picking up some useful vocabulary too. "Delantero" means 'striker', "tiro penal" means 'penalty', and "goooooooooooollllll" means 'I may be mistaken, but I do believe somebody has scored'.
I am going to buy a dictionary; it is about time I learnt Spanish. I cannot believe I have put it off thus far. I know I should probably learn to drive as well, but how am I going to understand the insults thrown my way on the freeway if I can't speak Spanish? I see it everywhere, I hear it everywhere, so the problem of exposure will not be an issue. And watching these channels has made me realise that America really is bilingual, and I honestly don't understand why this is not recognised on an official level. The TV stations are not being broadcast from Mexico - they are American. Sure, they are Mexico-centric as far as football and some shows are concerned, but they are for Spanish-speaking Americans. This is never more clear than in the adverts. Some of them are almost exactly the same as their Anglophone equivalents but re-shot with Spanish-speaking actors (such as the ones for Jack-in-the-Box), others are for products available to all Americans such as mobile-phone plans including maps of the US showing Spanish being spoken in every corner (giving the jarring impession that Spanish is actually the first and not the 'minority' language, as if this is some sort of parallel universe). There are certainly more football-themed commercials (unsurprising, being the World Cup), even poking fun at the English-speaking Americans' distrust of football, such as one which shows a short Hispanic guy buying a new TV at WalMart, ending with a shot of him on the sofa with his large American buddy, who looks in horror at the screen and whines, "soccer??"
It is as though I have dipped my toe into a hidden country within the US. Its boundaries are clearly not simply linguistic, but encompass cultural things such as watching the World Cup. There really is a footy-mad media here in this land. People here really do want to watch soccer on TV with a can of cerveza and some nachos. It's just that they speak Spanish. the mainstream English-speaking media has really failed to tap into this culture in any real way, and 'soccer' therefore becomes associated with the foreign, the non-American. Those who advocate the idea of 'English First', in which English is made the sole official language of the nation, do so because they are threatened by the Spanish speaking 'other', and their ways of life; yet it feels as though if you want to become a part of English-speaking America, you have to become part of their culture, watching baseball and American football, while relegating football/soccer to the foreign underclass.
Well, no more. I will learn Spanish, if this is the only way I can watch my footy, and I will speak to people at my local Mexican restaurant in their own tongue, learn their mannerisms, understand their culture. Of course, I could just pay the extra and get the cable package that has ESPN or Fox Soccer channel; but for one thing I'd be giving in to the man, and secondly I'd be missing out on those crazy Mexican commentators, like the one who actually gave birth today when Joe Cole scored what he descibed as a "golazo", or 'an absolute cracker'.


20.6.06 20:55

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the US go out; Ghana couldn't be Appiah

"Bad news about the US team today," I told people.
"Why, what are you talking about?"
"The football, of course, America got knocked out by Ghana today."
"Ghana? Where's that?"
"Africa. It's the World Cup."
"Football? The season ended ages ago, did you not see the Super Bowl? Oh, you mean soccer, oh I don't know about that. Why do you call it football, that's a bit stupid, they don't even use a football. It's round! It's the wrong shape!"
"Er, yes they do. And they use their feet as well, remarkable really, for a game called 'foot-ball'. Well anyway, the USA were eliminated today by Ghana, who will get to play Brazil in the next round."
"I didn't know the USA were in it. Brazil have a team?What are they called?"
Cor blimey guv. I'm giving up speaking English, and will concentrate on Spanish (when I learn it; at the moment it's a convoluted Italo-French dialect, but hey, I only bought the dictionary last night). At least the Mexican-Americans give a monkey's about the important things in life.

23.6.06 05:32

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attack of the clones

The Czechs went out today (they're in the post, I tell people, who actually believe they really are in the post), fulfilling Mystic Pete's spooky prophecy that, because I said they would get to the semi-finals (or even win the damn thing), they actually went out in round one. See the entry from a couple of weeks ago. Spooky stuff, I tell thee; Mystic Pete is back on target. Oooooh.
And tomorrow, Togo knock out France (sorry Togo, kiss of death again). One thing you should look out for though, is that Togo's manager, Otto "Should-I-Stay-Or-Should-I-Go" Pfister, is actually the alter-ego of Dick "Tater" Cheney. It is really spooky. Have you ever seen them together? I think not.

23.6.06 05:57

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"bush must be defeated, the imposter excreted..."

I was out in the 107 degree Fahrenheit heat today, reading a book about the Welsh language while sitting beneath shady trees beside the Putah Creek, listening to my iRiver, listening to Dan Bern. I only have one of his songs, New American Language, which I kinda liked; I listened to the lyrics today and heard:
"I have a dream of a new American language, one with a little bit more Spanish."
Which I thought was kinda relevant to what I've been harping on about lately with the World Cup and all. So I thought I'd check out Dan Bern, maybe get one of his CDs. I found his website, and was blown away by some of the stuff I came across, especially his lyrics. One of his songs is about reclaiming the swastika (a symbol of peace and harmony for thousands of years until the Nazis stole it). Another is about the aftermath of 9/11, with Bush and co calling everyone and his dog a terr'rist, another (Comme Vous Le Faites Tous) points out that if you go to France, you realise that America isn't the center of the universe and their president is an even worse actor than Ronald Reagan. Another - and I can't wait to buy this CD - has a song called Bush Must Be Defeated. Every line in the song rhymes with 'defeated', such as:"Bush must be defeated, his goodbye coffee heated."
One of his mini-albums is called "World Cup". Which is always good, in my book. Check this guy out: www.danbern.com. But don't go to Tower Records or Armadillo Music in downtown Davis tomorrow to buy his stuff, 'cos I want to go there.

24.6.06 08:59

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aussie's dream ruined by totti ham

Oh come on, that's a pretty good headline, don't you think? Come on. Australia being knocked out by a late Tottif penalty, brought about by a blatant dive, some terrible acting, and a bit of, oh well, you get that sort of thing in the World cup. at least it wasn't the open warfare of Portugal vs Holland. You can't say that match was not enjoyable, surely. It was like a car crash in Formula 1, it was Prost and Senna, it was, well, not much fun for Marco Van Basten. "Why can't they score a goal like the one I got in '88?" he thought to himself. They've all learnt that Johann Cruyff move, the one where you turn and all the defenders go the other way. Then again, they teach that to Dutch kids every day in the classroom; in America they have the Pledge of Allegiance, in Holland they Do The Cruyff.
Does anyone else think that Ukraine's kit looks remarkably like that of X-Man Wolverine? From the comics, not the films, I mean. Someone at Lotto is a big Logan fan.

27.6.06 06:57

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Week Thirty-Nine: How to Burn a Flag

It’s Independence Day next week; expect flags and fireworks aplenty. Given the proximity of so much freely flowing flammable fabric to freely flying firecrackers (not to mention over-zealous barbecue builders), I would imagine that there would be more than a few accidental flag-burnings. On such a highly charged day of patriotism, the sight of Old Glory going up in smoke would probably be enough to start a riot, or worse, a war. But you need not worry about what the Government or the FBI (Flag-Burning Inspectors) might do to you, because this week the Senate narrowly voted not to accept new measures, passed by the House of Representatives, that would make the desecration of the US flag a crime punishable by court of law. Phew, thank heavens for that! And I must say, as an ineligible-to-vote tax-payer, that I’m so happy the American tax dollars are being spent debating such a critical issue, when they could be spent on, say, a proper debate on Iraq, or a national health service. Or impeachment of the President.

What happens when you burn a flag? Those who have advocated the ban (such as the Citizen’s Flag Alliance) tell us that thousands of people have died defending that flag, and that to desecrate it would be akin to desecrating their graves. In reality they did not die defending a flag, but a country, and a set of values which, let’s be fair, the country’s Government did not always uphold. If you burn the flag, the country does not also burn; in fact, a country does not really need a flag to survive, but a durable and representative political and economic system. A flag is but a symbol; though I do not doubt the psychological power of symbols (cf, the swastika). In fact the act of burning the flag is upheld in American law, after a 1989 ruling, as an expression of every American’s First Amendment rights. So flag-burning is actually considered free speech. So what else can be interpreted as free speech? If you rob someone in the street, could your argument be, well it was free speech, officer, I was simply making a point about the high crime rate in this area, officer.

Of course not. But if the law had been passed, can you imagine the legal wrangling? For example, the exact proportions of the US flag are enshrined in law. It has to be just so. If the flag you are burning has a defect, for example if it were longer than it should be, or if the red stripes were a little thicker than the white, or if the shade of blue was just a little too dark, would it legally count as an American flag? It’s a foolproof legal defense; the evidence has by then already been destroyed. Yet until the 1989 ruling, many states actually did have laws regulating proper use of the flag – exactly when and how it should be flown (only from sunrise to sunset), exactly how it should be folded, that it should not be turned into a tablecloth or a cuddly toy, all of those things that millions of flag-loving Americans openly flouted after 9/11.

This doesn’t mean that come July 4^th, Americans everywhere will be building huge bonfires and throwing their star-spangled banners onto funeral pyres, a Guy Fawkes in Uncle Sam’s jacket. But it means they get to. So I think that people should be aware of exactly how to burn a flag. First of all, don’t just get out a lighter and set it on the ground. You have to have some TV cameras there, and a crowd of people who just want to be on the telly. You let the flames get bigger, then wave it around at the camera, dancing like a drunk who has just found a six-pack hidden under a bench, and then you invite your friends to jump up and down on it until the flames go out (be careful not to burn your feet; wear old shoes). Then you sing some random nonsense about Satan or Santa, climb onto a car, then all go indoors for nachos, beer and the big game. I know this sort of behaviour will undoubtedly upset the neighbours, but hey folks, it’s your First Amendment right, sob sob, God bless the Constitution and all that. In fact, why not combine Amendments One and Two, and shoot the flag as well?

I’ve got the perfect way for the flag-protectors to get their way. Why don’t they just try to pass a law that states that all American flags should be made from flame-proof material? Everyone’s a winner!

29.6.06 07:26

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in the river city pencil, pen; down by the river, sacramento
19.6.06 06:46	Permalink / Comment

river city number two pen; escaping the roasting gold-rush heat down in old sacramento, enjoying a cold local hefe-weizen at fanny ann's
19.6.06 06:52	Permalink / Comment