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dear george
Dear George What with the World Cup, trips back to England and all this scorching hot weather, I completely forgot your 60th birthday a couple of weeks ago! I'm so sorry; happy birthday George. I hope Laura baked you a big cake. I wanted to bake you a cake, but every time I did the icing, the big "60" looked a bit too much like a big "GO". Oh, by the way George, all those cards you received that you think say "60" on them probably do say "GO", you might want to check on that.
So what did you get for your birthday, George? I hope your Saudi friends remembered your special day, especially after all you've done for them (getting rid of their enemy Saddam Hussein); what about the Iranians, what have they given you? After all you have done for them lately as well (getting rid of their enemy Saddam Hussein). And Israel, did they give you anything George? I mean, you did your best for them, getting rid of their enemy (Saddam Hussein). And Al Qaida in Iraq, did they give you anything? They owe you the most, after all they could not exist in Iraq until you got rid of their natural enemy (Saddam Hussein). I mean, they could show some gratitude at least (though if they do send you a present, I'd maybe get someone else to open it; Tony should have some free time on his hands soon I'm sure).
How are you enjoying Russia? Hope the vodka's not tempting you too much. It seems like you had a less-than-private conversation with Tony about the new escalating conflict between Hezbollah and Israel. Are you sure you've not been on the sauce? You've stuck Syria right in it, too, telling Tony (aka 'Yo Blair') you wished they'd "stop doing this shit." Dear oh dear. I hope you remember that Israel is also doing "this shit" (killing people; bombing an international airport, isn't that what terrorists do?) And you don't like Kofi Annan much either, do you? Unless, oh, maybe you were asking Tony to get you some coffee, I see. And it's nice to see Tony's still has his little pet names for you, calling you "honey". And what was that gift he got you, the one he picked out himself? A map of Yurp? A bottle of non-alcoholic whiskey? Season 2 of Little Britain? Nope; sweaters. He gave you sweaters (did he really knit them himself?). Does he not realise how hot it is in Texas right now? When will you ever wear them?! About Lebanon though, George, what are you going to do? You never actually started this war, George; do you have what it takes to stop it? Your daddy convinced Israel not to retaliate when they Iraqi scuds were raining down on top of them; can you convince Israel not to pour oil on the flames? Everyone has the right to defend themselves, George, but don't forget that Israel has invaded a sovereign state killing scores of innocents in response to the kidnapping of two soldiers. Now Lebanese and Israelis are dying daily. Time to step up to the plate, George, but please work with Jacques and Vladimir a bit more this time.
Anyway George, as a late birthday present I'm going to give you tickets to see Al Gore's documentary An Inconvenient Truth. I know you don't like hearing his name, seeing how you stole his presidency away from him (with help from daddy's friends), but seriously George, you will learn a lot from this film. Global Warming's a big deal George, and we can still do something about it (to stop it, I mean, not make it worse). But it needs to come from the top down. Believe it or not (and I barely do) some people look up to you just because you are the Prez, so be a sport and set an example. Ratify Kyoto, pressure the auto companies to build only Hybrids, move away from America's dependency on oil (hard for you, George, I know) to cleaner, renewable energy sources; if Phillip Morris can tell people to stop smoking, George W Bush can tell people to stop consuming so much damn oil.
All the best, your good pal,
Permanent-Resident-Pete.
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17.7.06 21:34 |
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beware of the WHAT?
This heat is ridiculous. Unbearable. People from Burnt Oak can't handle heat like this, every single day. I'm starting to hear things, I swear. We were flicking through the channels, and we paused on Fox News (for they were reporting Their Glorious Leader's now well-known private chat with Yo Blair); the subject changed to gloomy warnings (of course, it's Fox) about West Nile Virus, which has been found in mosquitoes here in Yolo County. Lovely. So there I am, thinking about what I can do to prevent the mossies from getting me, when they issue another disease warning. We have to be careful, when walking in the woods and hills, of encountering animals which could give us not just rabies, but the Plague. THE Plague. The PLAGUE! That Plague! That one from history classes, the one where the doctors dress up in beaks, where you get red crosses painted on the door, where big pits are dug in public parks for the smelly rotting bodies. the actual plague. I had heard it was still around, in the poorer parts of the world, but I had no idea that it was common among animals here in America - but apparently it is. Whoah. I'm just getting over the existence of black widows and brown recluses and killer bees and rabid bats and earthquakes, now it's the Plague. This heat is getting to me. |
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18.7.06 06:53 |
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Welcome to Decidership
The Decider has finally used his Veto, as America passes smoothly into Dictatorship (or 'Decidership', maybe the White House would prefer).Despite Congress voting to pass a bill that lifted the ban on stem-cell research, the Decider has Decided he does not need the institution of Congress to help him make his Decisions, and has Decided to stop them doing that shit.
This is serious. King George has the power to do as he feels, not as the elected Congress feels. Of course, putting it into perspective, the fact he has not used his Veto until now is pretty remarkable - many Presidents, including Shagger Bill, used it many times. Franklin Delanor Roosevelt used it a whopping 635 times. King George has been saving his one (use it or lose it, Mister Pres'dent sir), for his own personal cause (he hasn't needed a veto until now, because he freely uses those ominous little signing statements at the bottom of bill such as that banning torture, little disclaimers that say "unless I need to"; he's used more of those than any other President in American history). King George believes that stem-cell research, which has the potential to find cures to cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and many other illnesses, is tantamount to murder. "The simple answer is he thinks murder's wrong," a White House spokesman said (BBC).
Murder's wrong. Wrong. Ok, King George, so if murder is wrong, this is really about your view of abortion isn't it? What is your next step, King George? Overturning Roe vs Wade? Sammy Alito won't stand in your way. Murder's wrong... yet even 'pro-lifers' (those nice people who want more unwanted childred to be born so there are more soldiers to die in oil wars) understand that stem-cells are not going to become human beings, and will only be thrown away. Murder's wrong... this comes a day after you have given Israel the green light to continue its murderous assault on Lebanon, 'for one week only'. Are you giving Hezbollah the same amount of time to commit murder, too? A week is all you get, folks, so make sure you get as much bloodshed in before then. If it ends in a draw, it will be decided in a shootout.
Why can't you tell them to stop the killing right now? You're The Decider, after all!
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19.7.06 20:44 |
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Week Forty-Two: California Burnin'
So you’ve got a record-breaking heat wave back in Britain right now? The weather sites tell me that this weekend, temperatures will reach 111˚F (that’s about 44˚C in old money) in dusty old Davis. In that sort of heat, people won’t need their barbecues, they’ll be able to cook their steak and their corn-on-the-cobs off the pavement (subject to stringent health and safety laws, of course). Down in San Francisco, however, it is forecast to be about 77˚F (22˚C), which is actually fairly warm for the Bay Area. That’s a difference of almost forty degrees, in a little over an hour and a half’s drive. I know where I’m going this weekend.
It’s high summer in California; hot, dry, relentless. Air-conditioners are pumping, while electricity suppliers are urging consumers not to be too wasteful (presumably because they won’t know what to spend the extra massive profits on). In various parts of the state wildfires are burning, causing huge plumes of smoke to drift across the Sierras into Nevada like distress calls. The smoke cloud from this week's Canyon fire in Stanislaus County was so vast it was visible from space. Firefighters are working overtime to control the blazes, but they know it’ll be a long hot summer. It’s thought that because we had an unusually wet winter, the brush has grown longer and thicker than normal this year. Now that it has been dried golden in the Sun, the thick brush has turned California into a giant tinder-box.
Wildfires have always been a problem for California, as elsewhere. I remember watching the news in Britain over the years, when they would show news of one wildfire or another attacking the hills around Los Angeles (such as the Cedar Fire of ‘03), images of wealthy movie executives watching helplessly as the flames reduced their secluded mansions to ash and insurance cash. One of the worst fires of recent years was the 1991 Oakland Hills firestorm in the East Bay, which killed 25 people and caused $1.5 billion damage. Some of these fires are started by lightning strikes, others by small grass fires that are not contained, and others (as was the Cedar Fire) are started by human beings, be it carelessly or deliberately. Some of them destroy homes and businesses; others destroy some of the oldest and largest trees on the planet.
As if it wasn’t hot enough! I currently have three fans pointed in my direction (that’s already more than Cristiano Ronaldo has), and have had several trips to the fridge to get Sobes, sodas, cold water, Sudwerk beer. I may move on to artificially flavoured popsicles soon, or maybe go for a late evening swim. On the CD player is The Style Council, ‘Long Hot Summer’ (no, really). Clothes indoors are not an option. While my brain thinks only of ways to cool down my body, I keep running into one thought that brings me no end of cheer: at least I’m not on the Tube.
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20.7.06 05:18 |
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a hundred degrees and counting
new pencils, 2h, 2b; it's a very hot summer evening in the central valley; the tv flickers with csi and gray's anatomy repeats; the world cup's a distant memory. |
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21.7.06 07:59 |
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east bay escape
Yesterday was so ridiculously hot in the Valley (A. registered 116 degrees in Sacramento) that last night we caved and turned on the air-conditioning. We'd been avoiding it, for three reasons: 1) very expensive, 2) environmentally not a good idea to be so wasteful (thanks, Mr Gore), 3) if we got used to it we'd have it on all the time. But let me tell you, Friday night was one of sleeplessness and sweat, while Saturday night was one of cool-aired bliss in the hottest weather I've ever known (except that first time in Vegas, when it was 120). Score one for the a/c (which leads me to my first calcio-themed joke, why are Milan cooler than Juventus..? Guess the punchline, it's pretty lame). I did try to escape the heat yesterday, leaving the Davis oven for the cooler climes of Berkeley. Sure enough, it was markedly less like Death Valley, and pleasant enough for me to sit outside and do some sketches - at first. After lunch on Telegraph in one of many un-air-conned establishments I popped into (Blakes's; I had a really good salmon burger), I felt the heat slowly rising in the East Bay, until I was sticky and lethargic. Berkeley's cool though; I don't go down there often (or at all), but the UC campus is one of my favourite places. Berkeley is the real liberal capital of the world - Bush Crime Family affiliates are unwelcome. There are some great stores there; I bought a couple of CDs in Ameoba Records (Stereolab and Dan Bern; the server was wearing an Art Brut T-Shirt, and I muttered my appreciation); I wandered through bookstores (such as Moe's, a Telegraph staple); I popped into a great game store downtown opposite the BART station. I discovered a seriously cool comic store called 'Comic Relief' (Roshe would love it), where I picked up a couple of little independently made publications (for want of a better word), one was a really nice but leftfield story by Zak Nelson about a guy whose downstairs neighbours live upside-down, and who gets strange messages from a girl in the moon. The other was called '5-minute Showdown', 'a sickening Orgy of Ink & Blood!', which was a collection of hastily scribbled cartoons on various themes by cartoonists competing head-to-head. Lots of fun. I did some sketching, but was getting hot and tired, and frustrated that I hadn't quite found the eldorado of cool breezes; I toyed with taking the BART across the Bay to San Francisco, but was feeling too lazy. I sat beneath the tall, shady trees in a grove on campus for a while, watching a big yellow butterfly flutter by, and came back to the furnace of Davis (via an hour-long wait in scary Tottenham-Halesque Richmond). I was sleepy on the train, watching the Sun prepare for a long sink into San Pablo Bay. I do love that train journey across the Delta, and it was comfortable and cool in the carriage; unlike when I stepped back outside. It had officially been 111 degrees Fahrenheit in Davis, and hadn't really cooled off at all. Nowhere seemed to have milkshakes, so I got a Bavarian beer, a cranked up the a/c for the first time, and watched Prisoner of Azkaban. And all was cool Chez Scully. |
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23.7.06 17:31 |
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i hear that train a-comin'
pencil, pen, watercolour pencils, and heat; the train to marginally cooler climes was over an hour late (and you thought england was bad, pete). A young woman was singing talentlessly to her costa rican friend about the train being late, as if the delay and incredible heat wasn't making things bad enough. |
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23.7.06 23:32 |
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you see, berkeley
h2 pencil, watercolour; i really like berkeley's campus, overlooking the bay, hanging onto the hills; compare to venetian campanile, "dov'era, com'era"; they have some seriously brilliant scholars here, but does any one of them have a 'theory of dog'? i think not; but you never know. |
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23.7.06 23:40 |
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Week Forty-Three: Hot and Heavy
In an attempt to pretend that the current hot spell isn’t happening, I decided to pop down to the twice-weekly Davis Farmers’ Market after work today. It is a market that locals are very proud of, a place for the organic-conscious anti-big-box Davisites, where fresh and expensive fruit and veg rub shoulders with big, sticky pastries and stalls urging people to vote for something or other. It has been a Davis tradition for about thirty years, and no heat wave is going to scare those locals away. I didn’t stay long; for one thing, it’s not very big, and for someone who has lived in France the Davis Farmers’ Market is a pitiful display. Perhaps it isn’t fair to compare it with the markets I used to visit in Aix-en-Provence, but there does seem to be a sort of self-congratulatory manner about the people that shop there. The other reason I didn’t stay is because it was just too hot, and my shirt was feeling as sticky as one of those pastries. It was the eleventh day in a row that temperatures had topped a hundred degrees, and I just wanted to be somewhere cooler. Even in Davis it doesn’t usually get this hot. It has been reported that at least eighty people have died in California as a result of the current heat wave, most of them elderly. Newspapers and TV stations are advising people to use their air-conditioning, while being mindful that the energy supply is being stretched to the limit right now. If you don’t have it at home, according to the SF Chronicle, you should go to the library, the movies, or the mall (not the Farmer’s Market, then). They also recommend that people ‘cut back on physical activity, such as walking’ – that shouldn’t be too difficult for the more sedentary of Americans (that’s not a dig – I’m becoming one, and my bike is collecting cobwebs; first it was too wet to cycle, then it was because of the allergies, now it’s just too hot). Somebody said to me that you’ve got to treat this heat wave like a Chicago blizzard – just hunker down and wait for it to go away. It’s a dangerous time, and it’s not only affecting the human population. Thousands of Central Valley dairy cows have died in the high temperatures, and milk production has been hit accordingly. If the situation gets any worse, and the price of milk soars as much as the price of gas, they may have to consider invading Wisconsin. Crops too are suffering, and that doesn’t just affect the Farmers’ Market – California is the bread-basket of America. Power is being stretched to the limit, with the threat of rolling blackouts meaning little to those thousands who are already without electricity in many communities. There doesn’t seem to be any let-up in the blistering weather. With fewer people walking or cycling, perfectly air-conditioned cars are out in force, contributing to the dense, polluted hot Central Valley air. Down in the Bay they have initiated Spare the Air days, and people are being enticed to leave the automobile at home by offering days of free public transport on the BART system. Can you imagine the London Underground being free on hot days? Can you imagine how unbearable it would become? Well it wasn't all that bearable on the BART, by all accounts, and crime on the network rose sharply on the days when it was free. When will it all cool down? This weekend, they say. It may drop down to the 90s. |
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25.7.06 17:16 |
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ch-ch-changes
Yeah... so I changed the layout of my blog, I wasn't 100% happy with that white and grey thing, but I loved the header picture... now thing is I don't know how to put the header picture back up there. I think I did what it said... anybody know? I'm happier with this blue, though, very nice. I'll probably hate it tomorrow. |
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27.7.06 22:29 |
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