They got me. Oh, I've been living here for over a year, I know they exist, I've even heard stories about them dancing across peoples faces in their sleep. I've learnt to block them out, pretend they don't exist, even going so far as to let them live every so often (which wasn't very often, but it did happen). But last night, evidently, they got me - the spiders bit me. Twice. On the friggin' face. Twice! On the face! I never even realised until this afternoon. I was at work, and there was a spot on my cheek that was getting big, swelling, so I went to the bathroom, and there was another one on my scalp. Two big red lumps on my face. "Are these spider bites?" I asked someone. "Looks like it." Now either they are two separate bites (none, ever, then two at once - bloody typical), or this is one huge spider. Either way, I am no longer going to go to sleep ever. Now we all know Pete hates spiders. We just don't get along. Pete's an arachnophobe's anonymous (I use a false name at meetings, but even that's pointless 'cos it's supposed to be anonymous). Pete especially hates spiders when he lives in a place known for its poisonous species, such as the well, spider-who-shall-not-be-named. Pete hasn't yet seen one and does not particularly want to, but is ever vigilant. I'm sure it wasn't one of those. If it were I would have known about it, what with the writhing in mortal agony and screaming blue murder and every f**k under the sun. However, even though experts say they don't live round our way, my big fear is that it's one of these spiders whose name shall not be uttered, the little feckers everyone warned me about when we moved here. Why do I fear these little bleeders? Have a look at this. And this. Yeah, that put you off your bacon sarnie didn't it. Now I usually see house spiders, fairly big, stupid. I've also seen these wierd looking black and grey ones though, fast, ugly, haven't a clue what the hell they are. But they've all been laying low for a while. See, spiders and bugs know my reputation. I have been known to go crazy, get out a lightsabre or a rolled-up newspaper, and just kill every thing in the room that crawls, creeps or flies, maybe leaving one alive to go and warn his friends what will happen to them. All I can say is that they must have been planning this for a while. The PIA failed their intelligence here. We didn't look under the bed. This was a highly coordinated attack, they knew what they were doing. I'm sure out there on the web, various spider groups are claiming responsibility for it. There's probably a spider-training camp somewhere in the Amazon or somewhere (dare I use the Al Spaida joke yet?). It could have been worse. Imagine if I'd woken up and found a couple of spiders on the end of my nose. I'd be bouncing off rubber walls before you could say "charlotte's web".
twice bitten; i'll bloody well get 'em i will
19.12.06 07:35
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Sketches / Website (19.12.06 09:48) Hehe, maybe you'll turn into a Spiderman 
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petescully (19.12.06 17:31) yeah, i thought of that, and i'm sure my reflexes were quicker than normal yesterday and that i had much more ease scaling the sides of buildings than i normally do, but i'm not convinced. I'd rather be bitten by something that gave me the Force or power over metal. Or the ability to make Arsenal lose or something, you know, useful |
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Open Grove Claudia / Website (21.12.06 18:14) Northern CA seems filled with the very selective "bite-you-on-your-pasty-face" spider. I was bitten quite a bit when I was at Cal. Sorry you were bitten. I have the desire to sing a song from the Happiest Millionaire, but I found out recently that I am the only person on the planet who saw that movie as a child. |
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sulz / Website (24.12.06 04:09) at least it wasn't fatally poisonous! and that it did it when you're not awake... get well soon, and hope you get your revenge. 
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