Blair's plane was struck by lightning today. I know that he is a religious man, so he may take this as a sign. What it signifies I am not sure, but with the election only a week away and Pope John-Paul II only just getting comfortable upstairs, even the most atheist of us can laugh and connect the dots. I doubt Blair will be rattled. He has the air of a man willing to take on anybody in an election head-to-head, even God (whose own sweeping election victory all those aeons ago consigned Satan forever to the backbenches; since then the minions of the Devil have been interminably divided over the euro, immigration and the Health Service. The only thing they agree on is that a leader should be bald, and have something of the night about him). But, and I say this as a non-believer in Him but a firm believer in Lightning (especially on windy, stormy April days when I have to shelter beneath trees, like today), God is being absolutely clear on one thing - he doesn't like Liars. I mean, how hard can it be to keep an election campaign clean? Howard has today released posters of Tony Blair, calling him outright a LIAR. He is, I think, the first British politician to do so in an election campaign. Howard was asked whether he had ever lied, and he replied that to the best of his knowledge, he had never misled the public. To be fair, he's just saying what everybody has been either saying or insinuating since 1993, but even Charles Kennedy backed away from this warm spud. Yesterday Howard failed to wash his hands between shaking those of patients on a hospital visit, and given his accusations that Blair has let hospitals become filthy, could be forgiven for being embarassed. Last Friday he was ripped to pieces by 'Van Helsing' Paxman, who said he'd 'need a miracle to win this election'. Could this miracle have been Lightning? I doubt it. If Blair's plane had gone down, he would have been deified, and Brown would have stepped up (or, heaven help us, Prescott). Thus would Howard (who retracted the Vote Blair, Get Brown posters when it was pointed out that that was actually Labour's plan) have been roundly and utterly defeated. You would have thought Howard would have liked Dark and Stormy Nights.
Liar, Liar, Plane's Struck By Lightning
27.4.05 19:08
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