blood and nuts - petescully

blood and nuts

I'm so looking forward to the new X-Men movie, coming out next week. Anyway this week I discovered what my mutant ability is. I have a supernatural ability to detect when food is out of date.

I was eating some peanut M&Ms, when I noticed an odd aftertaste. I checked the date on the packet - and discovered there was none. Most odd. So I tried another - yes, definitely some nastiness there. I've always been good at it. Ever since I was a kid and I had some bad milk that made me throw up all over my cornflakes, I've been very careful to notice even the slightest hint of gone-off-ness. I will stop eating a loaf of bread days before anyone else does. I can always tell if soft drinks (or 'sodas', as they call them here) are nearing expiration, while others drink them in happy ignorance. And I just knew something was up with these M&Ms - but with no date, how could I test it?

So I tried to cut one open with a big pair of scissors. And ended up cutting right into my thumb. Blood went all over the M&M, and I proceeded to destroy the rest of them by jumping up and down on the packet in revenge. So the moral of the story is, always check the sell-by-date, don't try to cut open a peanut M&M with scissors.

18.5.06 04:34

Permalink

To date 5 Comment(s) TrackBack-URL

Moobs / Website (18.5.06 11:42)
Dangerous buggers those M&Ms. What you needed was a bench vice, a hacksaw and and a pair of safety goggles. That's what I use.

(18.5.06 13:25)
The only other possible tool I had to hand was a letter-opener. Admittedly one M is a letter, but two Ms? I was doomed from the start.

Red Queen / Website (18.5.06 14:17)
I now know why you were exiled to America - letting you stay would mean too much job losses at Costcutters:P Peanut surgery sounds painful - ouch...

(18.5.06 15:05)
That's two morals, I believe.
I have made notes.

(18.5.06 15:20)
If I had retractable claws and quick-healing properties, it wouldn't be a problem. As it is I have to wear a band-aid on my thumb, which keeps falling off and stays very soggy whenever I wash my hands. It's just one thing after another.